Ripples of Fear

Timothy was 3 when she first saw the sea. For her it was not love at first sight.The first time she saw the sea,the rumbling noise of the waves crashing on the shores and the vastness of the ocean intimidated her.It triggered some unexplained anxiety within her. Her parents moved from London to Kent to enjoy a quaint environment away from the hustle and bustle of the city.They were fond of the beach but fear became a barrier for Timothy keeping her away from the joys of exploring the vast ocean which stretched beyond her imagination.

With a lot of persuasion, she would sometimes accompany her parents  to the beach but mostly she would make excuses and preferred to stay at home; Her parents had been supportive all along as they knew overcoming fear would take time. 

The very first time she walked towards the shoreline her feet touched the cool soft sands the endless waves echoed like some distant thunder intensifying her unease and a sense of fear seized her.She saw other children happily playing frisbee in the water and their carefree laughter filled the air. Her parents encouraged each step with a triumph over her fear but the boundless waterbody stretched before her sent shivers down her spine. She ventured close to the water's edge but as the waves lapped her toes she clutched her stuffed bunny tightly and her eyes widened as she recoiled. It felt that the ground was moving and the huge waves rushed to gulp her within. She closed her eyes and screamed as loud as she could. Sensing her fear Timothy's mother hugged her tightly and kissed her cheeks and took her back home.

She had no wish to be friends with the mermaids;All she wanted was to be safe away from the beach in a place of calm. The sound of the waves crashing on the shore was deafening.The endless blue forcefully gushed towards her like a roaring beast before which even the earth seemed to cripple and the sand would drift apart below her feet. Even when years passed by,her fear persisted. She would watch others play gentle surfs as they would smile and wave at her encouraging her to join but she preferred to remain on the shore and make sandunes or collect seashells. 

At times,instead of avoiding the beach, she would dig quite a bit of the sand to almost make a hole in which she would squeeze in, so that no matter how strong the force of the water was she would not be uprooted. In her head, she wanted to tame the unleashed beast, but poor Timothy did not know who the enemy was. It seemed she never bonded with the water.  The little ripples touched her feet casually as if poking her to be mischievous, making her feel restless and soon a big wave would wet her with the salty waters from top to bottom.

One summer when she was 12, she was determined to conquer her fear and enrolled herself in swimming lessons to conquer her fear. The pool was her battleground where every step was closer to overcoming the invisible chains that bound her. 

One evening she went to the beach all by herself. The sun dipped below the horizon painting the sky with hues of orange and pink.She stood by the water, the rhythmic melody of the ocean whispered tales of the unknown. She took the first hesitant step into the water that touched her ankles, she gradually waded deeper, and the water embraced her and provided her a reassuring cadence. The initial anxiety gave to awe and she felt a sense of liberation, feeling the fear recede with every step.A sense of exhilaration and wonder filled her.

For the first time she did not wish to return to the shore because that would be safe instead she rode the waves sitting just on top of it. The mind often tries to find an escape as reality is tough to handle.It then unconsciously becomes a habit where we do not realize that we have stopped living in the moment and we are lost in our thoughts. Stories that we weave in our head are mostly imagination but they seem so real that the reality becomes hazy and unclear. We can sink in and remain there as it might seem safe or come up and face our fear.